Up&Out.
DianneReez


An 18yearold PINAY who knows what she wants in life, and goes for it. Sometimes she might tumble, not nothing will ever block her way to the top. Not even AH1N1 or you.

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June 2009
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Date: Sunday, June 28, 2009
Time: 2:49 PM

I guess there is such thing as being too kind.

You know the situation where in you try not to get affected by other people's biases against someone and just continue being a good friend to that person? Suddenly, the realization that those people have a good, solid basis for those biases hits you hard and fast. Now it's too late, and you've been caught in the enanglement of lies, mockery and betrayal.

What's worse is that you considered that person your friend. Not a close one, not even a good one, but a friend never the less.

I feel angry and I feel betrayed. I have been nothing but good to you. Even in the heat of past issues, I never judged you. I didn't take sides. I didn't accuse. Never have you heard a peep from this mouth. I could have spoken out, but I didn't. I SHOULD HAVE.

I had an idea that this could possibly happen. I knew you had it in you, but I gave you the benefit of a doubt. I shouldn't have, but I didn't think you'd do this, and trust me, you've done enough.

Lets just say I'm not a big fan of backstabbing, pretentions asses. I think you've messed with the wrong girl, darling.

Friendship over, get ready for the ride of your life.



0have left cookies for me

Date: Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Time: 6:40 PM

Augh, I came down with something. LETS ALL HOPE ITS NOT (A)H1N1. Huhu.

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On the bright side, my kitty is snuggleh and is trying to get my attention right now. Cute much?:)
0have left cookies for me

Date: Sunday, June 21, 2009
Time: 5:12 PM
My Dad will always be my Dad


As far as my childhood memories could go, I could remember each and every single happy detail that I've ever had, and I recall that mostly, I was with my dad when those happened.

I remember walking 5 miles home because he blew every penny on me because I wanted a toy from Uniwide.

I remember having new sandals when I go home because I would always say that "Daddy, sakit sa paa ng shoes ko.."

I remember fighting with dad, and ignoring him for three days!

I remember that, despite busy work schedules, he would always be there for my school events, sitting on the front row, cheering me on.

I remember he bought me every possible SailorMoon toy.

I remember him taking me to the church to make a donation, and everytime I see the church altar, it always brings tears to my eyes.

I remember him telling me that he would elope with Alice Dixon and he would take me with him.

This blog would probably be filled with memories which were crammed into the short 7 years I've spent with my father.

See, my dad died when I was 7, and my little heart broke. Though it broke, I never stopped being a Daddy's Girl, even after 10 years.

I remember in our Health Eco class, I was asked to share the lowest point in my life, and I told the prof about my dad's death.

Professor: Ang strong mo. Buti hindi ka nadedepress.
Ako: Maam, just because my dad's heart stopped beating, my heart doesn't have to do so as well.

I think, after all, he thought me the best lesson that a dad could ever give his daughter; He went to heaven and taught me that even he's physically gone, LIFE WILL ALWAYS GO ON no matter how hard it might get, how low you might be, or how unfair it seems.

I know he is still with me. ALWAYS ALWAYS with me.

I kinda like the idea that Dad is my own personal angel. I know he's protecting me from the heavens, and that makes him the best daddy in my own universe.

I love you Dad. You'll always be my number 1.
Happy Father's Day.:)

Dance With My Father - Luther Vandross

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Date: Saturday, June 20, 2009
Time: 11:34 PM
Fallen Princesses

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So, I was scouring up Geekologie.Com and found these:

fairy tale 4.jpg

fairy tale 6.jpg

fairy tale 5.jpg

Cool eh! "Gallery of Fallen Princesses".

Click the link above for more!:)

0have left cookies for me

Date:
Time: 6:03 PM

I bought this book earlier. Nagtugma sa post ko kagabi. Hahahahaha.
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Date: Friday, June 19, 2009
Time: 7:37 PM
Of Birth.

John Cedric (Yaya's nephew)

For this semester, I am taking up Maternal & Child Health as part of my nursing major. This course will teach me all the things I need to know about child birth and natal care.

As a woman, I know that someday, in the not-so-distant future, there will be a chance that I will get to experience being pregnant. I've already had two meetings for this class, and I think I know what I'll be experiencing for 9 months of pregnancy, and upon giving birth.

It's funny, during my first meeting for the said class, we discussed childbirth, and Yaya's sister was giving birth simultaneously. It was helpful because I understood what she was going through. Interesting, interesting.

The idea of giving birth scares me and excites me at the same time. I know I am willing to undergo all the pain and risk my life for my future baby, but I can't help but feel dread whenever I think about it. Weird.

I think it's fascinating that us women are so vital in giving life. I'm not just taking about human women, but women in general, other species included. I feel like I have a great significance to my race, and that I have a right to be proud of that fact.

What I do not understand is the occurence of "bad moms" I don't know, I just think that if I have a baby growing inside me for 9 months, and I would have to experience 101% birth pain, I would give it all the pride, joy and love that I could possibly give. It's like working hard and reaping your success. I just..don't get how you could not love your baby.

You?



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Date: Thursday, June 18, 2009
Time: 7:42 PM
Daddy, daddy, NURSE NA AKO!

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Today, we learned how to give VACCINATIONS. Wala lang, for us student nurses, SUPER BIG DEAL na we're allowed to give them na. HAPPY, HAPPY. (Painful arm, rejoicing soul.)

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I just saw the "mermaid" attraction in Ocean Park. I never knew Mermaids have to wear goggles while under water.


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Date: Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Time: 8:19 PM

I commuted home from school earlier, and I took the shuttle so that it wouldn't be much of a hassle. I sat beside these medical representatives who seemed like good friends. Their conversation entertained me all through out the ride home (and even through the inexplicable traffic along Merville), so I have decided to share excerpts.

Girl: Kasi, Topher, Si BJ.. Selosang friend. Ayaw ko na uuwi tayo na tayo lang.. Iba mag-isip ang babae.. They say one thing, and mean another.
"Topher": Ganun? Eh bakit naman papaapekto ka dun?
Girl: On the surface lang kasi, ayaw ko din ng gulo. Wag mo na lang bigyan ng ibig sabihin yung gusto ko..

---
"Topher": Kasi minana ko kay Mama na pag uminom, namumula, so tinanong ko si Maam, sinugest na Rantidine, tapos sabi nya, "Topher, hindi ko sinasabi na gawin mo yan ha.."
Girl: So, anong sinabi mo?
"Topher": Sabi ko, "Okay Maam, I'll just consult it with a physician."

---
Girl wasn't horrible looking, but she was a plain jane.

Girl: You see, I know na maganda ako, but compared to my sisters, I sometimes feel that mas maganda sila sakin..
.. Not that I have insecurities, but yeah.

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0have left cookies for me

Date: Sunday, June 14, 2009
Time: 9:52 PM
:)



I love you.
0have left cookies for me

Date:
Time: 6:47 AM
Good Morning!:)

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For the first time since I started my summer vacation, I'm actually up early. Hep hep?:)

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On other news, I think its amazing that they were able to unearth a "Nude, Mona Lisa-like painting" hidden in a wooden wall in a private library for centuries!


(from MSNBC.com & Creativityspot.com)
Image: Nude Mona Lisa?http://www.creativityspot.com/pics/Mona%20Lisa%20(Gioconda)%20by%20Leonardo%20Da%20Vinci.jpg
Museo Ideale Leonardo Da Vinci & Mona Lisa

I definitely see the resemblance between her, and Mona Lisa. Their features are strikingly similar. To me, they seem like they're the same person nga eh.

I think da Vinci's idea to portray her/their facial expressions is genius. The one which was fully clothed looked suggestive, as if hiding something, thus explaining her smug, sly smile. The other one which is naked looked carefree, as if without a care in the world na.

Wala lang, I think it's cool. I've always liked the arts. It's almost like the past is trying to catch up with the present so that it will never be forgotten.

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EHHHLIIIIIIBBS!

Contemporary Artists, Celebrate. (Labo.) :))))
0have left cookies for me

Date: Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Time: 9:06 PM
Thanks Friends

Nakakapagod magayos, magschedule, and magcontact. SUPER. Kung gusto nyo lumabas, kayo mag-ayos. Last straw na talaga, sorry, pero badtrip na.
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Date: Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Time: 7:14 PM
Alabang Town Center

I went down south earlier to look for a battery pack for my laptop (it broke because it's ancient:P), and I decided to go to ATC just because I haven't been there ever since I graduated high school.

Alabang Town Center was our hot spot back in Highschool. Whenever we would go out. we would go there. Man, fun times.

I remember the Scary Movie 3 moment I had with JV, Auds and Kendrick. It was a PG-13 (?) movie, and JV admitted that he was just 12. Hahaha. We had to go to Festi just to be able to watch. Hahaha, fun times.

I remember the first movie date I had back when I was 14. "We" watched Van Helsing, and the guy sitting beside me reeked of cheap perfume.:))

I remember Mandy's 16th birthday @ Mcdonald's. I remember playing pool with JV, Kends, and Bert. I remember Kendrick's foul shot when the billiard ball hit robert's & my foot. Thanks Kends. Kung gusto mo naman kasi sanang subuan kita, just say so.. :))




-Sigh- This mall reminds me so much of my high school friends. I could still see myself laughing while wandering around the mall. We were wide-eyed maniacs who we're as carefree as carefree would get. I miss that. More than anything, I miss being with my high school friends.

It really is different, high school from college. There's no comparison, honestly, it feels like highschool was a different era. I love college, but I just really love high school more.:)

I love sirkuloloys.:)

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On a brighter note, I bought a pair of wedge shoes. Yay for new shoes, it was such a bargain too!:)


0have left cookies for me

Date:
Time: 1:36 AM

I hate the fact that my last few posts are "emo" in nature, but hey, be true to oneself always, right?
0have left cookies for me

Date:
Time: 1:22 AM

I love him. I will keep loving him even though my heart is bleeding every single time I'm with him. I will keep loving him even though the betrayal echoes through the hollowness I feel. I will keep loving him even if it defies logic. I love him.

--
Love never meant to bring happiness,
it's a reminder that you're human.

Love never entitled sappiness,
it wanted to enhance expression.

Love never asked for explanations,
it didn't want to make any sense.

Love never meant walks on the beach,
it just wanted company.

Love never meant warm hugs and kisses,
it needed to feel like it belonged.

Love never meant getting hurt,
it meant taking risks..

--
0have left cookies for me

Date:
Time: 1:19 AM

There is always a reason for everything. There is a reason why babies cry, why death occurs, why there are bad days. Thats what I keep telling myself, there's always a reason for everything

There is a reason why I have to feel pain every once in a while. It makes me feel alive. It reminds me that I am breakable and that I am human, just like everybody else.
0have left cookies for me

Date: Monday, June 8, 2009
Time: 10:06 PM
Broken

" I'm falling apart. I'm barely breathing."

I have read this certain story about this reality check that a teen guy had. I'll try to put a verbatim as I don't remember the exact words. "I wish I was that guy. I wish I had the power to break the will of any woman I possess, that way, no man would ever look her way, and she'll be broken, the way he did her. And the best part? She'll always be mine."

What I'm feeling right now is fueled by that story. I have been broken, and I'm scared that I won't ever be good enough for another. He just made sure that I'm broken so that I won't look as appealing to anyone else, only to him. It's a selfish deed really, and I've let it go on for so long.

Deep inside me, I feel the pangs of pain from time to time. It somehow gets buried from the other clutters, but by a simple argument, it resurfaces, exposing it's wounds which seem to never heal no matter how long it has been. It's slowly eating me up inside.

I can always pretend I'm ok. I've gotten so used to acting like I'm okay. People never ask much when they see the smiles plastered on my face, and honestly, I like it too. It makes me forget. It's an addiction. I have grown to like hiding from their pangs.

I hate it. As much as I like it, I hate feeling this way. In a way, it seems like I'm worthless to anyone but him. "Don't let others determine your worth", a cliche, but I can't seem to apply it in my own situation.

I know my capabilities and my potentials. I know what i can do, and I know that I can do it. That is me speaking of my physical,and intellectual side, but how about my emotional side?

I don't think I'm healthy emotionally. I'm so scarred. I've been broken so badly by a very selfish man. I just want it all to stop.

I know I was wrong for leaving numerous times, but what you did, what you did was way beyond incomprehensible. FOUL. FOUL. It would never justify or compare to what I did. I look like such an angel compared to you. I HATE YOU..but I love you..
0have left cookies for me

Date:
Time: 5:09 PM
Move along, nothing to see here.

Last night, it came to my knowledge that a certain friend of mine will be leaving for France because he got a scholarship. I was ecstatic when I found out, and at the same time, I was annoyed because I had to find out from another friend. I think he was planning on not telling really, and that annoyed me more. We're all friends here, right? No sense hiding something from the barkada. Weird lang.

Anyways. Once again, a friend will fly away.

It happened twice already, both in highschool. (Oh the drama!)

J left mid-Junior year for the States. K,A& I were bawling our hearts out because she only told us on her last day in RP. We couldn't do anything about it, so we just accepted it, and moved on. She told us how different RP is from the US. She went home months after, but relocated to Cebu. Oh well.

K left without notice Senior year. Her greencard arrived while she was still vacationing in the US, so she never came home. We were pissed, but what the hell? The grass is greener on the other side.

I don't remember ever feeling sad after the events forementioned. It was just a one time thing, I stood up and moved on. One thing though, I never forgot my friends & kept on communicating with them even though we're living separate lives already. I believe thats an important lesson which was imparted by the situation. It's fun really, sharing experiences and learning from different perspectives.

Anyways. Back to the friend who's leaving for France. I am hoping to hear stories about France, seeing that you'll be able to experience it first-hand. I'm quite jealous, but that will never surpass the happiness I'm feeling for you, you lucky bastard.

Congratulations Kendrick Hernandez Barcena. You're finally going out of the comfort zone and seeing the world with your own eyes. Hey, sounds pretty good to me.
0have left cookies for me

Date:
Time: 3:23 PM
Frustrating Much?

I used to love vacations, especially after I graduated high school. Being on vacation meant lounging around, doing nothing school-related, & FINALLY having enough time to meet up with friends.

In my group of friends, I'm usually the one who plans every detail about our barkada round-abouts. I have to seek out my friends, contact them and tell them the FYIs. Honestly, this is getting so hard to do nowadays.

I don't understand, I mean, I would get it if classes are on-going. At least, if we have classes, we could always use "I have class/group work/loads of homeworks/reports/insert-school-related-alibis-here" as an excuse to not come, but come on now. It's still vacay and no one seems interested in meeting up.

I've heard them say "I miss hanging out!", "Miss ko na din kayo..", "Labas tayo!" once too often, but it just feels like these are being thrown around just for the sake of saying it. Never meant. Never wanted to exert any effort.

I'm a Nursing student, and I have to study every single body part and their functions, memorize 100+ drug names and their contraindications, force my brain to retain names of microorganisms which look kawaii on agar plates but are dangerous when inhaled, and I STILL HAVE TIME TO PLAN.

WHY?

Because I want to. Because it's important to me. Because you guys keep me sane and grounded and stupidly happy.

I want spontaneity. Heck, we're all legal now. What's making it all so hard? Doesn't seeing each other after a grueling semester appeal to any of you now? Effort, effort! Relationships don't grow on trees.

Bottomline is I miss you guys. I don't understand why you're making it so hard for us to see each other. Why are you guys giving me such a grueling time arranging and rescheduling if you will just not go? It's frustrating. I just want to see you. I'm not just doing it for myself, I know that deeeeep down inside, a little bit of normality which the barkada brings refreshes OUR parched minds and lives.

I swear, I'm very stressed about this. I've been just trying to get us all together for a long time now, and no one would give in.:(

Please please please. Let's all pitch in and do this. Or maybe we can just call it a day and see each other, say, by Christmastime (which will probably not happen as well)?

Kayo na paimportante. (But you are important naman talaga. PERO OA KAYO HA! GARRR.)
0have left cookies for me

Date:
Time: 3:23 PM
Abnooorrr

For some reason, talking with this certain someone gives me a giddy feeling. No, he's not my boyfriend, he's just a friend. Weird. I used to despise this person before. And now he's making me kilig. I must stop before Daniel finds out (Note:I'll tell him anyway because I'm honest like that.) New blog, new issue. Haha. Not good since there's no issue anyways. This is normal right?
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Date:
Time: 3:22 PM
A fresh new start

Well, well. After being on blog hiatus for more than 2 years, I have decided that I NEED to blog again.

But why?

My old blog posts (See it here.) provided me a good laugh years after I wrote them. I saw how I grew up and matured through my writing. I remembered situations long forgotten through the words splayed out on the page, creating vividly colored memories which will forever be etched on the web, and hopefully, in my bonked-up head. My old blog wasn't related to Mcdonald's, but man, I was lovin' it. ;]

Humor aside, I've been through a lot of life's whirlpools, and I've honestly just had enough with my short-term memory. Recording daily milestones sounds so damn good right now. I think I need this to keep me sane as I push through my Nursing career & balance life on my now-too-full hands. Writing keeps me sane. It aids my freedom of expression, and lessens the clutter in my brain. Ah, the feeling of release..

Say, 5-10 years from now, I might stumble upon this first post, and think, "What the hell was I thinking?" And knowing myself, that would probably prompt up another post because I'm twisted like that.

Expect another blog filled with random, fucked-up posts which absolutely tells my life as it is, and to be completely honest, the author could not be more happier.
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